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version seven. http://demongin.org |
The Moltmann Prophecies
I am selected to ferry world-famous theologian Jurgen Moltmann to and from Yale's Divinity School for an upcoming speaking engagement.
Tuesday, 2004-09-07 | Careerism, Classic Gin, New Haven
Here at YDS, our super-charismatic dean of students, Dale Peterson, has lent his name to numerous things. For example, the knoll just outside of the Sterling Divinity Quadrangle, though often referred to as 'the grassy knoll' is named for him. Also named for him are the mass e-mailings that originate from his desk.
Dale mail, as we call it, is a fundamental part of YDS life. I'd say on a good day that we get between five and fifteen of them. The subject matter is random; Dale might forward us an email from someone looking for a roommate, someone looking to unload some books or someone looking recruit for campus programs.
Last week at about this time I received an interesting Dale mail that read as follows:
As many of you hopefully already know, "A Crisis of Trust? Trust in a Culture of Suspicion and Spin," the Inaugural Sarah Smith Conference on Moral Leadership, is coming up in just two weeks. We need help with the conference in various capacities, including some driving. If you're looking to make some money and would like to help, please contact Heather Templeton at 203-432-8629 or heather.templeton@yale.edu. Please include in your response whether or not you have a car and are willing to drive.Not having a job or shit to do, I wrote Heather and volunteered. The 'Crisis of Trust' conference, according to the scuttlebutt around the campfire and the posters all over campus, is going to be a big deal. Public intellectuals, it has been rumored, will be attending. Some real superstar academics.
Surely enough, as soon as I had offered my sword to the service of Heather and the 'Crisis' conference, she took it up. She affirmed that she could use me and asked me what my general availability was for the week of the conference. Then I didn't hear from her until tonight (about a week).
It was a bit after midnight and I had been studying the old systematic theology--hitting the books--with one of my colleagues. I was getting ready to turn in; I had cracked open a 40 of Old E 800 and was thinking about putting on my bedclothes when I thought to check my email--you never know when you're going to get one.
You can imagine my surprise when I found that I had received the following email:
I hope you are still interested in helping out for the conference next week. Would you be willing to drive to Bradley Airport in Hartford to pick up Jurgen Moltmann on Thursday afternoon? He would need to be returned to the airport the following day. You would be paid $10/hour from the time you leave New Haven and would also be reimbursed $.37/mile.Yes friends. You heard it here first. Come next Thursday, I'll be paid $10 an hour to take a Jeep ride up to Hartford and schlep motherfucking Jurgen 'the Molt Man' Moltmann to and from the bustling metropolis of New Haven.
The short, happy life of Timothy O'Connell indeed.
